Remember Chapter 5? The one on non-spoken communication? The lesson where the Australian guy in a suit demonstrated how we unconsciously know how to interpret body language?
Well, here is Allan Pease again in case you don't remember:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoEfCOTcYIQ
Body language plays such a large part of our lives every single day however we don't even notice it. It is widely agreed that body language plays a significantly larger role in us being able to understand other people as compared to spoken words. According to Professor Albert Mehrabian, who has pioneered the understanding of communications since the 1960s:
- 7% of message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is in the words that are spoken
- 38% of message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is paralinguistic (the way that the words are said)
- 55% of message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is in facial expressions
We are constantly exposed to body language when we interact with other people. Like you instinctively know when is the appropriate time to go up to someone and talk to him/her. And when that person is actually listening to what you say, whether the person's responses are truthful or not. You can kind of see it, rather than pick up something a little off just from the words that person is saying.
Like when the person you are talking to is constantly making eye contact and not being easily distracted by other things, you know you have that person's attention and they are willing to hold a conversation. Or when Murphy's Law strikes and due to the Law of Encounters, you suddenly find yourself with a person you don't really want to talk to.
Like so,
You would to everything you can to break off the conversation as fast as possible with the least pain right? So, you would act like you're in a hurry or distracted and constantly check you phone for example, all the while saying all the right things. All of this is to just convey the message that this conversation is getting awkward and you don't wanna talk anymore, but in a more subtle, and less direct way.
Another situation would be when you come up to someone and you get a feeling that you don't want to approach the person just by the way he acts. His/her body language tells you so much without him/her needing to say a word.
"Be water, my friend."
You wouldn't wanna mess with him right? Even if you wanted to you simply can't. He's Bruce Lee.
But, the main point is the body language part.
The point is recognizing body language and interpreting it correctly will help you through daily life, it lets you see so many other hidden meanings you could have missed and enable you to react accordingly. Recognizing negative vibes early on would save you from making the wrong choices, and this can be applied in almost every aspect of daily life.
Mehrabian's Communication Research, Retrieved from: http://www.businessballs.com/mehrabiancommunications.htm
Bruce Lee picture, retrieved from http://www.bruceleedivinewind.com/
I believe over the years humans have greatly decreased their natural ability to decipher body language, which in the past was a life saving skill. Being able to analyze posture and movements of a person approaching you was crucial for survival. Today, we rely heavily on verbal communication and most of the times forget to consciously study someone’s body language. If we accept the fact that 93% of the meaning from a message is decoded through non-verbal, then studying body language should be our top priority. Throughout my life, in many situations, I have relied heavily on non-verbal. During my backpacking days I became very aware of how important it is to consciously plan your expressions, gestures, movements and attentiveness when you do not speak the native language. Being ever so friendly, Thai people in small villages would often gesture for us to come and sit on their porch and have a bite to eat. Of course we were happy to accept the invitation but you would always walk towards their home in a humble, shy manner with gratitude clearly expressed on your face. Thai people interpret that as friendly, non aggressive and welcoming attitude. We would often share a full meal with the family spending the whole time gesturing and observing. Instinctively we mirrored each other’s gestures, it felt natural and trusting. Years later I read about the “mirroring” technique where you imitate other person’s subconscious movements to gain trust. Without the often dishonest and unnecessary words, the time spent together felt pure and authentic. On the hindsight, I do wish that prior to my travels I invested more time and effort in learning body language, a priceless skill. I guess it is never too late!
ReplyDeleteJana (G 2 Chatty Chitty)
Great job on pointing out the important points of non-verbal communication by the way.
ReplyDeleteI feel even though body language is crucial, it is often neglected, nobody says you have to improve in your body language, it's always about speaking better. They're like the sound technicians in a concert, under appreciated and unnoticed compared to their "spoken" rock star counterparts. It is ignored more than ever now because of the prevalance of online social media, which removes the aspect of body language. There's such a high chance for miscommunication online because all we see are a bunch of typed words, there is no context, tone or facial expressions. It's one of the many reasons I do not really like Facebook and Twitter, meeting in person is still the way to go for me.
That may be harder as people are busier, and we have more things to do than ever before. But I feel it is essential, so that the traditional way of socialising does not get consumed by this digital age. I agree that reading body language is a skill one must always practice and get better at. A good write-up on the important points of body language.
Ren Jye (Group 6)